On burnout and bouncing back
Rambling about burnout, a zine I made as a teenager (!), and some recent inspiration
Hi guys,
I have just returned from…drumroll please…LOS ANGELES! Where I officially signed a lease and will be moving permanently in June. I’m so excited to be on the west coast soon!
I’ve been really pumped about reading other people’s newsletters lately- I’ve been using the Substack app to keep up with everything in one place (this is not spon, I swear). I’m just really happy that I can click on an app that’s not my typical social media of the past few years- it doesn’t feel slimy or weird…just kind of like, a nice and fulfilling internet experience reading long(er) form content from artists I admire? HEARD OF IT?!
Not-#spon aside, I’ve reached a point lately–that I can only assume is a side effect of a major life transition–of real exhaustion and truthfully, an inability to do creative work right now. I shot and edited so much fun new work in March and then immediately went to LA for 2.5 weeks (I left my camera gear back in Atlanta, which was a good move in hindsight), where I kept seeing inspiring things but when I thought about executing an idea, I just couldn’t see it, you know? I couldn’t imagine myself physically creating something. It’s a scary feeling for me. Even though at this point, I know that the energy will come back, it’s still hard to feel like this crucial part of myself is on vacation. How could she abandon me like this?! WTF.
At first I was like, oh it’s fine, I just have a creative block that will go away when I see something inspiring. But I realized, after a couple of days where I felt I had no choice but to take big giant afternoon naps (not usually my vibe), that perhaps it was a little deeper than that. Perhaps I did the classic Savana thing of overloading my schedule and pumping out insane amounts of work, except this time I did it during a major, The Tower-esque, life transition. How cool and awesome of me!
The last time I had bad burnout was when I graduated college in 2019 and had overworked myself to the point of almost quitting photography- I remember going into a meeting with my photo agent in New York at the time and telling her that I wanted to move into sets/props instead, that I had no desire to pick up a camera again. Spoiler, the inspiration eventually came back. But it took a solid year for photography to fully become the medium I cared most about again (which is another reason why it’s great to be able to express yourself in multiple media, but that’s a conversation for another day). Even though I’m not at a 10 on the burnout scale, thank god, I’m still severely limiting the creative work I’m doing right now.
I know there are some people will say “POWER THROUGH creative blocks!!! Go, go, go!”, but I think it’s worth mentioning that burnout/exhaustion is a totally different beast. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, it’s that there is no energy to execute them. I think blocks only happen (for me) as a result of getting in my own way; exhaustion/burnout happens when I’ve been doing way too much. Valheria told me once that she had a conversation about burnout with a therapist who urged her, and I’m paraphrasing here, to figure out a way of working where you’re not crossing the finish line huffing and puffing and dog-tired, but rather find a way to cross the finish line gracefully, so that you feel ready and eager for the next one. It’s easier sometimes than others. I’m curious if any of you have a tried and true way to pace yourself with creative work? For now I’m chilling and dreaming about what it’ll feel like to work and be inspired and energetic in a new place.
OK ALMOST DONE BUT FIRST- I want to share this little zine that I made at age 15 or 16 about creative block. I came across it while packing a couple days ago and it felt serendipitous :’) Teenage Savana clearly made this as a way to self-medicate her own creative block, but what’s funny to me is that I only wrote about 3 pages before I clearly was like, this is boring, on to making other things! So I guess writing about creative block/creating something self soothing and low stakes (like a zine) was a way to get past it for me. Again, blocks are different than burnout, but the two are obvs linked in so many ways that it felt too prescient not to share. Time capsule vibes!
Here are a few things that are THRILLING, CHILLING, AND FULFILLING me creatively and getting me excited for my next phase of making things…
I bought this Imogen Cunningham book at Alias Books East in Atwater Village in Los Angeles- it’s my new favorite bookstore. I knew a bit about Imogen Cunningham but I was excited to rediscover her via this retrospective book. Her compositions are insane and full of gauzy, Northern California dreaminess.
All Advertising Looks the Same These Days. Blame the Moodboard
“In today’s extremely-online world, the vast availability of reference imagery has, perhaps counterintuitively, led to narrower thinking and shallower visual ideation.”
I’m not sure if I’ve ever nodded so hard while reading an article before- this is all about how the insistence on hyper-specific moodboards (and the influx of similar images that we all absorb on a daily basis) is making all advertising photography look the same. There’s specific talk about tropes in advertising right now (scenic cloud backdrops!!!!) and many, many great quotes. It lit a fire under my ass to get off Pinterest. I’m dog ear-ing this subject for a future newsletter because I have a LOT TO SAY!
My longtime friend and incredible photographer Lauren Tepfer is on tour with Lorde!!!! And the pictures are so magical and rich. It’s such a thrill to see two artists I love working together- the images feel so Lauren but also visualize the new Lorde music so perfectly. Harmonious!
Shoutout to this Tumblr account that archives all of Lorde’s email newsletters, which have contained maaaany iconic Lauren pics lately.
Reading lots of Mary Oliver lately and I especially love this one. “Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable”
And on that note- THANK YOU for reading. As per usual, please subscribe if you haven’t already, and email me back if you have any questions/comments/requests. I love hearing from y’all.
